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Nic nie jest takie jak się wydaje
Zawsze zastanawiało mnie co myślą ludzie, którzy godzinami wpatrują się w lustro. Może tak jak Christina Aguiellera powtarzają „I`m beautiful”, a może tak jak Alicja z powieści Lewisa Carolla próbują przejść na jego drugą stronę. Ja nie wiem. Patrzyłam, patrzyłam i patrzyłam i nic. Myślałam czy by ze swoim odbiciem lustrzanym nie porozmawiać, ale czy warto rozmawiać z kimś kto nie dość, że nie odpowiada na zadane pytania to nie reprezentując własnego zdania ciągle się we wszystkim ze mną zgadza, a nawet jeżeli posłucha mojej prośby i się nie zgodzi to nadal nie potrafi uzasadnić swojego zdania będącego podobno odmiennym niż moje. Ale trudno się takowemu odbiciu dziwić, przecież nawet ktoś na swój specyficzny sposób materialny, i można by powiedzieć – żywy często zachowuje się podobnie. Czy ja też tak postępuję? Może powinnam – przecież jestem jedną z nich... jestem człowiekiem tak jak oni. Niestety nie jestem bezpostaciową oportunistką, a może „stety”... W każdym bądź razie mam dość ludzi próbujących się innym przypodobać, na rozkaz kiwających głowami... pustych i szarych... nieistniejących. Ale dlaczego tak jest? Dlaczego często boimy się wyrażać własną opinię, powiedzieć nie kiedy się z czymś nie zgadzamy, i asertywność jest podobno w modzie. Wydaje mi się, że to obawa przed wyśmianiem, brakiem akceptacji, często nieśmiałość, albo ponura wizja samotności. Czy jednak musimy na nią skazywać ludzi niebojących się obrony własnego zdania? Nie mam bladego pojęcia. I dlaczego bladego, a nie zielonego? Zielony jest kolorem złożonym – żółty i niebieski, kolorem nadziei i spokoju, a blady? Blady mniej znaczy, jest mdły, mniej silny, słaby...Więc w porównaniu do zielonego pojęcia blade jest mniej znaczące i na pewno nie tak istotne. Więc dlaczego odnośnie tej sprawy użyłam określenia „blade pojęcie”? Pierwsza myśl?... Może to nawet logiczne. Podobnie jak z antynomią kłamcy – w końcu niewiadomo czy kłamie kiedy mówi, że kłamie. Życie jest, mówiąc kolokwialnie „pogmatwane”. Moje też. Postanowiłam je uporządkować. W tym celu zrobiłam puszkę. Puszka jak puszka, aluminiowa, z małym otworkiem na górnej podstawie. Pojawia się pytanie w jaki sposób tak mała puszka może uporządkować komuś życie? Wydaje mi się, że odpowiedź jest prosta. Kiedy na małej karteczce zapisuje się marzenie, które coś znaczy, po wrzuceniu do puszki już do końca jej istnienia pozostanie obecne w życiu wrzucającego. Uważam, że nasze życie składa się z marzeń – począwszy od tych najprostszych z lat dziecinnych do tych najbardziej skomplikowanych i wydawałoby się wręcz nierealnych. Skoro więc życie składa się z marzeń, a marzenia tworzą życie puszka zatrzymując je, choćby się miały nie spełnić, kształtuje osobowość, motywuje do działania, nie zezwala na bierność i obojętność, sprawia, że żyją a dzięki nim osoba wrzucająca marzenie żyje. Otworek jest malutki, nic nie można przez niego wyjąć, to dlatego, że nie wolno rezygnować z marzeń – okazuje się wtedy słabość i brak konsekwencji, poza tym człowiek powinien w pełni ponosić odpowiedzialność za wypowiedziane marzenia. Chciałabym po latach czuć, że udało mi się zrealizować chociaż część marzeń. Chciałabym też żeby ktoś wrzucił „mnie” do swojej puszki, chciałabym żyć tak, żeby nie zdradzać swoich przekonań i wartości i coś znaczyć, bo to taka przykra wizja – żyć, ale nic nie zrobić, żeby być nie tylko swoim marzeniem, ale także cudzym, być częścią czyjegoś życia...Dlatego nie można ukrywać swojej puszki, swoich marzeń. Tak niewielka puszka przyniosła tyle przemyśleń, może i rozczarowań, zmartwień... Nie wiem, wiem natomiast ile dla mnie znaczy. Patrzę w to lustro, ale to nic nie daje, a kiedy patrzę na puszkę czuję, że wszystko ulega jakiejś nie dającej się nazwać zmianie. I co ciekawe nie ma jej po drugiej stronie lustra, to dlatego, że moje prawdziwe życie odgrywa się tutaj, odbywa się naprawdę. Nie mogę stale mówić o niej tak prosto – „puszka”, to nic nie znaczy, a ona jest naprawdę ważna... Wiem! Dodam jej moje imię, wtedy na pewno będzie wyjątkowa!
Cześć. Jestem Pandora, a to? A to moja osobista puszka. Puszka Pandory.
Artykul był czytany : 205 razy
Autor: MIRACLE
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1. Lothrien
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