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M�j strach... do g��bi mnie wypala. Spytacie, boisz si� stwor�w krocz�cych w ciemno�ciach i �ywi�cych si� mi�sem? Odpowiem, nie. Czy boj� si� �mierci, kt�ra porwie mnie z tego �wiata, uniemo�liwiaj�c rozkoszowanie si� jego pi�knem? Tylko je�li zabierze mnie nim sp�ac� swe grzechy i spe�ni� swoje �ycie. Czy boj� si� b�lu, kt�ry w katuszach odbiera zmys�y? Nie, gdy� do ka�dego cierpienia mo�na przywykn��. Czy boj� si� samotno�ci, lub wrogo�ci w tych, kt�rzy s� mi najbli�si? Niegdy� si� tego obawia�em, lecz zbyt d�ugo �yj� opuszczony i niezrozumiany, by strachy te wci�� do mnie przemawia�y. Czego zatem si� boisz, padnie w ko�cu pytanie. A zatem, c� to jest, co nie pozwala mi spa�, za�mieca moje my�li, ot�pia przera�eniem i odbiera si�y? Wyobra�cie sobie samo, proste uczucie – strach. Sk�d si� ono bierze? Zamykam oczy i my�l�, jaki b�dzie koniec. Czym�e jest �ycie i wszystkie nasze doznania? Co si� dzieje, gdy umieramy? Czy ulatujemy gdzie� w przestrzeni, czy mo�e trawmy po wszechczasy w bezruchu, zimnie, bez my�li, w nico�ci? Je�li mamy dusz�, kt�ra po �mierci odejdzie, to b�dzie nas czeka� s�d za �ycie. A je�li nie, to jak wyja�ni� nasze my�li? Boj� si� nie tyle tego, co b�dzie po �mierci, lecz jak jest ona skonstruowana wraz z �yciem. Boj� si� pustki. Obawiam si�, �e moje otoczenie jest z�udzeniem. Oraz, �e z�udzeniem s� moje uczucia. Czy nie mam w�asnych dozna�, tylko przelewaj� si� przeze mnie emocje os�b mnie otaczaj�cych? Czy nie mam serca i jestem zimn� skorup� jedynie o ludzkim kszta�cie? Jestem potworem w ludzkiej sk�rze i boj� si�, �e ludzie to poznaj�, a ja nigdy si� nie zmieni�...
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